All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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