Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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