You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
