i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
