I wish i was in the wii world.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
