Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
