This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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