just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
