he wants to bone in the snuggie
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
