seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
