Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
