New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
