good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
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