I think I died a long time ago.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
