my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
