I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
We need to rekindle our bromance
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
