i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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