how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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