i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Randomize
