I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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