please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
