Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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