OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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