Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
