dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm passing your future prison.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
