White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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