No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
That reminds me...we need to get swords
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
