Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
My life is pants optional.
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