Life is so much better after having sex.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
