There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
