I feel like I'm in dance class right now
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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