Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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