yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
