Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
