Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
