Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
my poor anus
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
