No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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