HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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