my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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