Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
