Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
