yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
