Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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