He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
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