i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
