You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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