You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Randomize
