? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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