8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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