She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
