I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
